There was a cucumber, a pickle, and a penis sitting around talking about how their lives sucked. The cucumber says: man, my life sucks. When I get big, fat and juicy, they cut me up and stick me on a salad. The pickle looks at him and says: You think you have it bad? When I get big, fat and juicy, they stick me in vinegar, put spices on me, and stick me in a jar. The penis looks at them and says: You both think you have it rough? When I get big, fat and juicy, they stick a plastic bag over my head, stick me in a dark room, and bang my head against the wall until I throw up all over myself and pass out.

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